


One Night Stand

by WaterandWin



Category: Homestuck
Genre: F/M, Pale Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-08-06
Updated: 2011-08-06
Packaged: 2017-10-22 07:12:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,798
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/235286
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WaterandWin/pseuds/WaterandWin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Is there such a thing as a pale one night stand? There is now.</p>
            </blockquote>





	One Night Stand

**Author's Note:**

> For Homesmut:
> 
>  _So I recently saw this fanart (http://fuckyeahhomestuck.tumblr.com/post/8349903358)._
> 
>  _FeferiGamzee pale fluff? Or possibly pale angst? Or I don't know? It seems like they'd make better moirails than Feferi/Eridan or Gamzee/Karkat. Feferi ranks above him in the hemospectrum, so even sober!Gamzee might be forced to respect her? I don't know. But it's certainly very nice fanart!_

There was a lot to deal with after Vriska dumped Eridan. He started to whine a lot more than he used to, and it was slowly getting to the point where Feferi didn’t feel as sorry for him as much as she would have liked for him to keep it to himself. That’s not the way morails were supposed to act though, so she listened and patted his back when he cried on her shoulder as she dug her toes into the wet sand trying to catch the sand flees. She needed his help feeding Gl'bgolyb, after all. Also, she might kind of maybe feel bad about dumping him now that he was all upset and sobbing about culling himself.

Thankfully, he got over the crying pretty quick, although that didn’t help the purple stain he left in Feferi’s favorite handkerchief. Next he got really angry, and over the next several nights Gl’bgolyb was fed surprisingly well, until Eridan started to whine again about how being the greatest murderer ever wasn’t getting Vriska’s attention and how much of a bitch she was and how she deserved to die and how they should let up on the feeding for a while and see how she likes it. Feferi yelled at him that that was an awful thing to do and he wasn’t even considering how many innocent trolls would die in the process, and he yelled that they were all just land dwellers, scum of the earth, and needed to get thinned out anyway, and she yelled that she didn’t want to thin them out, that they were her equals and if he wanted to kill them then he wasn’t considering her feelings _at all_ because she’d just be debasstated if everyone died because of her, that would make her the worst abdicated empress in history, and he yelled that she’d shore as shell would be if she didn’t grow a back bone for fuck’s sake and learn to shed some filth-blood when it was in her best interest, and then they both yelled at each other until they were pink and purple in the face.

She didn’t officially dump him, but she left with every conviction not to return until he apologized, which meant she’d have to go hunting _right now_ or else. It was harder by herself, since she couldn’t exactly corner a lusus out in the middle of the ocean, and she certainly didn’t want that lusus’s custodian around when she did because then she’d have to fight them, too, now that Vriska wasn’t around. Eventually she found a big old sea goat lusus in her usual hunting grounds that she started to follow. He lead her to coral reef hive and Feferi kept a distance away as he fed a little purple-blooded sea dweller that was barely more than a grub. The little guy seemed awful cold to his lusus, so Feferi figured he wouldn’t miss him too much. The old goat left pretty quick and she followed, looking for an opening, when suddenly he came up to _another_ hive. Feferi watched in utter disbelief as he took care of this sea troll, too. It was the weirdest thing she’d ever seen. Trolls don’t share lusi! It’s unheard of! But here she was, seeing it with her own eyes.

The lusus piqued the abdicated empress’s interest, so she kept following him. She lost track of how many troll kids he visited after ten. None of them seemed affectionate to the old goat, some almost hostile, but he did what a lusus was supposed to do through it all. The weirdest part was that the blood colors of the trolls spread as far as the sea could hold, no two the same and yet... one lusus.

It was so baffling Feferi forgot about hunting all together and just followed him for the rest of the night. It was when the sun started to light up the water that it struck her, and without thinking too much about it, she left the goat and found a elephant seal lusus to drag into the depths. She spent that day deep down with Gl'bgolyb, listening to her whisper eldritch tongues through her dreams. It was comforting, and besides, Feferi didn’t want to go back to her hive just in case Eridan was there, and she certainly didn’t want to deal with him yet.

She awoke when the water was just growing dark again, and after feeding Gl’bjolyb a big turtle lusus with blood only a little bluer than her own, she was off to track down that goat lusus again. It took a while to find, because as it so happened he was in _none_ of the places he was yesterday. In fact, he was at a new hive all together, with a little troll girl, tears just bluer than Feferi’s streaming down her face. She threw rocks at the goat lusus even though he was bringing her freshly-caught tuna. The girl didn’t want any of it though, screaming at him to go away go away _go away_ or she was going to kill him, but he was very persistent, and it wasn’t until she brought out her spear and started waving it around and nicked the goat’s nostril that he left her the tuna and fled.

Feferi followed close behind. He was bleeding a little, not enough to be sure, but she thought his blood color was a little too cool for a sea dweller. Whoever his real custodian was, he would have to be the lowest blooded sea dweller in existence. Or so she thought until the old goat went and surprised her again.

Feferi were utterly bewildered when he beached himself, and she started to consider that maybe he knew he was dying and that she could take the opportunity to drag him back with her, when suddenly the door of a hive by the shore was flung open hard enough for her to hear it snap against the rock wall it was mounted in. A painted troll boy no older than Feferi dashed out. He wasn’t very coordinated, because the beach wasn’t all that long and he still managed to nearly trip on the way over. From his running start he leaped right at the goat lusus, clamping his arms soundly around the goat’s snout and burrowing his face in the wet fur between the goat’s eyes. The goat let him snuggle before lifting his head. The troll dropped down to his feet, and then the lusus opened his maw and licked the kid toe to top. The kid let out a hiccuping, wavering, honking chuckle, and raised his arms to shield his face from a second tongue onslaught. By the time the lusus relented, the boy’s makeup was gone and his hair was slicked in all directions, but it was at least cleaner than whatever was on his head before. The boy reached his hands up grasp the goat’s fur again, but the lusus turned away and shimmied back into the water. The boy said something, but Feferi was too far away to catch what it was. She did, however, see him wade into the water after his lusus, all the way up to his waist, and watch the white form disappear under the waves.

Despite seeing the goat leave a lot of children over the past two nights, watching this troll boy standing in the water all by himself made Feferi really, really sad. She just wanted to hug him and tell him every lie in the world until he was happy again, or take him home and put him with the cuttlefish and keep him snug and warm for ever and ever and ever. But she didn’t do any of those things; she just observed as he waded back to solid ground, sat in the sand, pulled a pie dish out of his sylladex, dipped his fingers into the green slime within, and popped them into his mouth.

Feferi let herself drift closer, eyes just above the water and hair trailing behind like seaweed. It wasn’t until her knees were touching the rocky bottom that he noticed her, and even then he did nothing but pause with his hand half-way to his mouth. The green goop slipped from his fingers and plopped back in the dish. He looked down at it, then back at the sea troll.

“Hey sister,” he slurred. “You all up and coming over to split some of this motherfuckin’ pie with me?”

Feferi lifted her head out of the water and peered into the metal pan he was holding out to her. Whatever was in it, it looked gross. she made a face to indicate as much.

“I got plenty,” he added.

“It smells like sopor slime,” she told him, wrinkling her nose.

He laughed. “That’s ‘cause it motherfucking is.”

Feferi pulled herself further out the surf and settled so the fingers of the waves could just reach her. “You’re super weird,” she told him. ”Sopor slime isn’t for eating.”

He merely watched her with lidded eyes as he scooped another fingerful into his mouth.

“Why do you do that?”

“Just doing what feels natural, sis,” he shrugged.

She studied him. “Are you sad?”

“Nah,” he replied as Feferi scooted forward until she was seated beside him. “How can anyone be gettin’ their motherfucking sad on when nature is just showering us with every kinda miracle you can imagine?”

The sea troll looked around. “I don’t see any miracles.”

He sighed, but it wasn’t impatient. It was anything but, like he was drinking in the salty air and tasting it for answers.

“Like the motherfucking ocean,” he decided, burrowing a hand in the sand. “I mean, check this shit out.” He set the half-empty pie tin down and began to dig. When he had a shallow hole, he pushed himself to his feet and stumbled to the waves. A second later, he returned with his hands cupping a handful of water. He dropped it in the hole and it instantly soaked into the sand.

“See that?”

“What about it?” Feferi asked

“Ya see, this here hole is like a mini version of the motherfuckin’ ocean,” he motioned, his eyes twinkling. “Except it’s not. Cause the ocean can all up and hold all its water without it getting its ninja on and vanishing. How does it motherfucking do that you say?” Feferi opened her mouth but he held up a finger. “Miracles is how.”

“But--”

“Don’t go telling me, sister,” he shook his head and he sat back down again. “I don’t want to know. It’ll ruin the magic.”

Feferi frowned at him.

“What a load of glubbing carp. What does that have to do with being sad?”

He shrugged again. “Can’t be sad when shit like that be motherfucking happening.”

“Maybe _you_ can’t,” she huffed.

He glanced over at her. “What’s gettin’ your chill up in a flurry?”

“Everything!” she exclaimed, flopping onto her back and throwing her arms out. “I have it so hard, you have no idea.”

The troll boy turned himself around to face her as he shoveled more pie into his mouth. “Like what?”

“Well for one thing, if I don’t feed my lusus enough, everyone will die. And she eats an awful lot!”

“That sounds motherfuckin’ rough.”

“I know! I was supposed to be empress, too, and all the responsibility was supposed to prepare me, but I guess I must have done somefin wrong because now she’s saying I’m _not_ going to be empress. Ever. _And_ everyone is going extinct.”

“Damn,” the troll boy replied with his mouth ful. “You should have some pie and get your relax on.”

Feferi had a feeling he didn’t understand a word of what she was saying, but she sat up anyway and snatched the tin from his hands.

“Fine,” she announced, and crammed a fingerful in her mouth. As predicted, it tasted awful, but she was in the mood for doing something stupid and dangerous, and so she proceeded to dig the rest of the goop from the tin.

The troll boy didn’t say a word, even as she handed the empty pie tin back to him and flopped back down. By the sound of it, he simply tossed it over his shoulder before crawling over and spreading himself out across from her so their heads were side by side.

“Well?” he asked. “Feeling better?”

“I don’t know,” Feferi admitted. “I feel sort of...funny.”

He chuckled.

“Not that kind of funny, stupid. Like...tingly. In my fingers.” To demonstrate, mostly to her self, she lifted her hands high against the stars and wiggled her digits. Each little bone, each muscle, each complex joint followed her command with the greatest ease. “Wow,” she breathed. “Have you ever, like, thought about how your hands move?”

The troll boy raised his hands skyward as well. “Only all the motherfucking time, sister. It all looks like it should be hard as fuck, but it’s motherfucking not, you know?”

Feferi nodded slowly in agreement as she turned her hands over and back, marveling in the way they would cover up stars and then reveal them again. “I know.”

“How many twinkly motherfuckers you think there are up there chillin’ in the sky?”

“I don’t know,” Feferi shook her head. “Millions. And like, each one of them is like a planet or something. What if there kids from those planets watching us back right now?”

“Shit, dudette. You’re blowing my motherfucking thinkpan here.”

She giggled. He laughed and it became even more hilarious. Mirth bounced from the sea cliffs until they both forgot what they were laughing about, and laughed simply for the sound of it.

“You know,” she said, turning onto her side to face him. She paused to catch her breath and watch him. His wet hair was caked with sand and worse off than before his lusus cleaned it. “We’re going to be up there someday with the other adults.”

“I’m sure it’ll be motherfucking swell,” he decided, and turned to face her too. There was only enough space between them for her hand. He watched it lie there palm up before dropping his palm down onto top of it. It dwarfed hers, but the first thing she noted was that it was warmer than Eridan’s. After that one thought, the world that existed outside the two of them and the space between ceased to exist.

“If I was going to be empress, I would appoint you to watch over the land for me,” she blurted out.

“Huh?”

“It’s a big job,” she explained. “All of Alternia. It’s just so...big. I couldn’t do it by myself. So I could rule the sea and you could rule the land under me.”

He chuckled. “I don’t think I could rule over motherfucking anybody. I ain’t better than anybody else.”

“Then you’re perfect,” she declared, and closed her eyes.

 

 

 

She didn’t realize she had fallen asleep until she was being shaken roughly awake. There was a grating voice in her ear.

“Fef. Hey, hey Fef, wake up!”

She swatted at it.

“Come on! The sun’s almost glubbin’ up.”

She waved the voice away again, but this time something grabbed her by the arm and yanked upwards.

“Ow!” she shrieked as he shoulder was nearly pulled free of its socket. She elbowed her attacker and sat up to a chorus of his groans.

“What the fuck,” Eridan moaned, clutching his stomach where she had nailed him. His lusus floated beside him, completely nonplussed.

“What are you doing here?” she asked sternly, despite a headache steadily building in the back of her skull.

“I could ask you the same thing,” Eridan replied as he straightened up. “Now hurry up or we’re gonna fry.”

“Why should I?” she crossed her arms, knowing full well he was right.

“Come on, Fef, please,” he begged. “I’m sorry, okay?”

She pointed her nose up and away.

“Just get on, okay?” he patted his lusus. “I can come up with a better apology when I’m not about to fuckin’ die.”

She glanced over at him out of the corner of her eye. Behind him, the sky was starting to light up.

“I should hope so,” she resigned at last, holding out her hands for him to help her up. This he did, even allowing her to get on his lusus ahead of him. It would not be long before they were too big for him to carry them both, but for now they were in luck. As they sped back to the sea, Feferi risked one final glance at the dark hive on the shore. Her memory was fuzzy but pleasant.

She didn’t even know his name.


End file.
